this thought just occured to me.

On Friday, I was at Nicky's house with Helena, Kate, Tyler, Mark D, and Nicky. 

Helena wanted to just have a moment of us not being rambunctious, so she put on slower music and put it loud, but not that loud and turned the lights off. We all sat on the couch. 

I had time to think then.

I had enough time to think of how upset it makes me to know that my friends always have a boyfriend.

Someone to love. 
Someone who loves them.
Someone to feel safe with.
Someone who will wrap their arms around you.
Someone who will kiss you.
Someone who cares...

And guess what? I NEVER GET THAT. It kills me too and no one knows.
 
You wanna know what kills me even more? I really liked Joe and no, I'm not 100% over him. I won't be until I find someone knew to have. Honestly. 

And all that means is I'll still have small feelings for him until I finally find someone that I loved like I loved him. 

On Friday, I thought I still liked Joe.. So I was crying then about him.

But now, I'm positive that I like Michael.. 


But I'll prolly post more later, I just have to go visit my Grandma. She's in the hospital. /: