July 30- (At the plaza) I gave him a hug when I saw him. (: Then we were at the tables and I wasn't sitting next to him and him and one other person went to sit at another table and I was still at the other table and he pulled at my purse strap and came up to my ear and whispered "Come on, switch tables" and so I got up and sat down and then everyone raced to get a seat at the table. Then I walked away like ten minutes after and I came over and put my hands over Alexis's eyes and I guess she had Danny's phone and Danny looked at me and was like "Can you get my phone off of her Ashley?" and I gave him his phone. And then I was looking at him and he looked at me and I smiled at him and he goes "Do you have gum?" and I was like "yeah!" and he asked for a piece and I gave him one and then this other hot kid that like nine million people are obsessed with asked for one and I gave him one too haha. Then that kid (Zac) stood up and walked away so I went and sat coz I was sore and there was no other seats and the seat was right next to Danny and Alexis goes "Of course you would sit next to Danny.. And get his phone off of me for him.." I was like "So?" But Alexis was ALL OVER HIM. I was gonna hit her. Then I got home and I texted him "I want you to be completely honest. Do you have any feelings for me at all? Because I know you like Meghan and we are three years apart but I just wanted to know.." and he was like "Well to be honest I think you're cute and everything but I think we're just too different because of our age. I still wanna be your friend tho and maybe someday yaknow? But I don't want it to be awkward because you're such a nice friend !" so I said "but I'm confused.." and he said "why" and I said "you asked to hookup.." (that's what was gonna happen) and he said "I was kind of drunk.. I'm sorry/: I mean I would maybe still hookup with you but idk about dating and I don't want a relationship now anyway" and so I said "oh alright." and he was like "yee" and I said "ok." so he said "are you mad?" so I said "nope, just a little upset." and he said "Aw): I'm sorry" so I was like "it's not your fault" and he was like "it is." and I said "no it's mine." and he said "how?" and I was like "coz I liked you.." and he said "you can't control that..." and I said "I know.. But thats why it was my fault." and he never answered.
August 1- The Dream Game. Oh, Dream Game. Last year Joe asked if I was gonna go. He asked me to go with him. He was there but I didn't see him, thank god. Anyway, Danny was there. *deep breath* I was basically breaking inside.. I was with him all night. I didn't think we were gonna say a word to each other all night. I kept looking at him.. I couldn't help it.. And sometimes we would make eye contact but I would just look away. At one point he comes out of nowhere and grabs my arms and goes "Are you still mad?" and he grabbed below my shoulder so I reached up and grabbed by his wrists and I was like "no, I was never mad, I was just upset." and we were locking eyes and he was like "Why we're you upset?" and he like brought his hands to right below my boobs and they were kinda on my boobs and I didn't exactly want them there because there was a TON of people there and so I slid my hands down his wrists and held both his hands and kinda just thought of the question and mumbled "Coz I really like you" but I don't think he heard me but I don't know because before he could answer he got pulled away by someone.
August 2- At first we were all at the plaza and he either didn't have work or he got out early but anyway.. Mark S took my phone and went into my messages and went into Danny's and typed random letters and sent them. He sent "ug" before I took my phone off of him and I texted Danny again and I was like "sorry that was mark.." because things still weren't great yet between us even after he talked to me at the Dream Game. So a little while later he came over to the table and I was sitting but he was standing and he came up from behind me and rested his wrist on my shoulder and I looked up to see who it was and he had his phone in his hand and he was showing me the texts that Mark and I sent and I was like "it was Mark I promise!" and he laughed. So this Josh kid was sitting next to me and Danny goes "Yo Josh get up." and Josh was like "No dude there's a seat over there" and Danny was like "Noo I wanna sit next to my friend!" and put his hand on my back and tried to get Josh up but he just sat on the seat in between me and Josh and I was like "Oh hey" and my friend Dani was like "come over here Ash" so I went and sat next to her and he texts me and goes "Ug" and I said "it wasn't me!!):" then I walked away with Helena and we went to Sheetz with her brother quick and then we got a call saying everyone went up to Sherwood so we had Helena's brother drive us up there because literally everyone was there. At first nothing was really happening and it was kinda boring but then everyone went into the soccer field and stood there so we went to see what was going on and they were playing epic hide and seek in the woods and I was gonna play but I didn't really feel like it so I stayed on the playground with Helena. But then the team that was hiding came back to the playground because the swings were base or whatever and Helena had to go call someone so I was on the swings with Daren and Zac while everyone was coming back. Danny was walking back with someone and he came and sat on the swing next to me and at first we weren't talking but then he was looking at his cuts he got (he tripped over a log in the woods or something) and I looked back at him and I was like "Hi" and he was like "Hi! Do you have a band aid?" and I was like "Yeah, I do." so I got a band aid for him and he got the wrapper off and looked up at me and goes "Can you put it on? I only have one hand and yaknow.. You're my nurse." (the cut was on his hand) and he smiled at me and I smiled back and took the band aid and I was like "Am I?" and he was like "Yah." and so I put the band aid on his hand and I was pressing on the sides and stuff to make it stick and I accidentally pressed on the cut and he was like "Ow! That hurt." and I was like "I'm sorry!" and he was like "You did that on purpose didn't you?" and he smiled at me and I was like "No!" and I hit his forehead and he was like "I'm sweaty." and I was like "I can see that!" and I wiped my hand on his chest and he was like "oh my shirt is dirty too from when I fell" and I was like "oh dear." and he stands up and goes to someone else that was walking to the field again "Where are you going?" an they were like "ROUND 2!" and they started running across the field and I laughed and he turns to me and goes "Come on and play." and I was like "Nooo I really don't wanna." and he put his arm around my waist and dragged me along and was like "Oh come on it'll be fun." so I walked over with him. It was just the two of us walking across a very large field and he was like "Why didnt you play before?" and I was like "I wasn't friends with anyone" and he was like "Why not?" and I was like "I'm not social." and he was like "So you're a socially awkward butterfly that needs I spread her wings?" and I was like "yes.. But no, I do not." and we laughed. Once we got there he goes "you're wearing flip flops... Are you sure you wanna play?" and I was like "yah." and he was like "ok!" and when we were over there he was like talking to the guys I don't know so I was just standing there and he comes over to me after a few minutes and puts his hands below my shoulders and I put my arms just below his elbows and he looks at me for like 10 seconds so we were kinda just staring at each other like that and he goes "You seem bored." and I was like "I am." and he was like "You wanna go back?" and I was like "Kinda." and he was like "Go ahead, if you want." And he slid his hands down and held my hands and I was like "Ok, I will. But text me when you get home, ok?" and he was like "I will." and I was like "hug?" and it was again one of the most amazing hugs I've ever gotten.. He like bent down and hugged my waist and my arms were around his neck and he like pulled me up on my tippy toes and when we pulled away he grabbed my hand and just looked at me and Kayla goes "aww that was so cute!" and we were staring at each other and he was like "yeah" but he didn't look away from me and he was smiling and when I walked away he was still holding my hand so it was like where you start to walk away and just slowly let go and I was like "text me later." and I smiled and he was like "I will!" and ugh I just can't. :D
Damn that was an eventful few days.
I wanna tell him something like this to him, but I'm afraid to..
"I just want to kiss you or hold your hand or something to see if there's really something there or if I'm just wasting my time.. I'm falling hard and falling fast and I want to know if it's all for nothing or if it's worth trying."
I just really do like him and I really want him, in all honesty.
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