Don't stop, keep going 'til the moring light!

JOE NEVER TELL ME YOU ARE "ONLY TEASING" ME. THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE I WILL ATTACK YOU AND HAVE MY WAY WITH YOU.

With that said, yeah, so I'm going up the lake tonight, for the weekend, with Helena and Tessa. As you can see.

Ok, so I almost regretted saying that he could come up for the day with everyone.


I'm glad I said it.

La La La I'm gonna go now. (:

We don't need anything or anyone.

GUYS I WAS TALKING TO JOE THE OTHER NIGHT.

((:

So a while ago I was like "I have to give you the note" blah blah blah.

So June 17 I told him to text me.


It was like after 1 AM so he texted me in the morning.

GOD HE WAKES UP EARLY

So our conversation...

J: Hey
A: Hi.. I have a question. :P
J: Ya
A: Since I wanna give you the note, but i probably won't ever see you this summer, do you want me to just text it to you? :P
J: Sure
A: Alright, give me a few minutes...
A: Hi. This note is from around December. Well, it happened in December, & i'm rewriting it. To refresh your memory, it looked like this: 
(post) if i never met you.. my life would be different.. MUCH different.. 
(comments) me: ...&maybe even a little better.. you: :( me: inbox me or text me and i'll tell you why... 
i remember you texting me and saying ":( wow i hurt every1" ... i don't know about everyone, but for me, yeah. why my life might have better if i never met you is because of the way you made me feel. yes, you did hurt me. a lot, actually. but that was my fault. it was my fault for liking you&telling you. hell, it was/is my fault we aren't friends! in all honesty: - i really liked talking to you. -i regret everything i did that night at the plaza. -(when i liked you) i thought about you everyday.. -the reason i stopped liking you was because i knew i'd never have a change. -you've changed. -i miss you. 
no, i don't still have feelings for you. yes, i do miss you. but when i say that, i mean the old 'you'.. the one i used to know. the one who wasn't mean around his friends.. you were nice to me, and you were a good friend.. if i'm allowed to call you that. i really don't know what to call us now.. aquaintances? nothing more, that's for sure. you used to be the nicest boy i had ever met, you were so funny&nice&... i just don't know. there was so much in my heart for you and i don't know how to explain it. i cant put words to it. i apologize. all i ask is for you to finally forgive me... lastly, i'm sorry. for everything. i hope we can work something out. 
J: U type really fast
A: Thanks, i think
J: Your welcome
A: i don't know what to say right now, sorry.
J: Its okay
A: That didn't help...

Then later that night:

J: Heeeeyy
A: Heyy
J: Whats up?
A: Watching tv with tessa, hub?
J: Nothing bored
A: That stinks
J: Interesting u both said that

--i'll explain later--

A: What, you're texting her too?
J: Yep I sent a group message

--way to make me feel special--

A: Oh, that's cool. Who else?
J: Matt Sheerer cam Coyer cait m Lacey a girl from vv

--i hope you're not a stalker--

A: Who's matt? i've seen him on fb but never heard of him otherwise
J: From NP
A: Oh.. that's cool.
J: Yep
A: So how's talking to like 7 girls?
J: They didn't all answer
A: Oh, well then how's talking to a few girls?
J: Good i guess
A: That's good.
J: Ya i guess

--way to make things awkward joe.--

A: Haha yeah..

SO ANYWAY,

We knew he sent a group message so me and Tess were playing him right back and saying the same thing but I think he stopped texting her and kept texting me.


GAH GUYS MY DANCE RECITAL IS TOMORROW

--i say 'guys' like there are more than one of you people out there... if there is even one anymore.--

I'M SO NERVOUS

So during dress rehearsal today I go off stage after out Hairspray dance and into our changing room. My costumes were in the bag in the order of the show, so I quickly changed into my outfit for Footloose. Well, my mom decided to put be ballet costume (which was before Footloose) in the costume bag for the 2nd half of the show (Ballet/Footloose are in the 1st half) so I missed that dance.

I CHANGED INTO THE WRONG COSTUME AND MISSED THE DANCE. THE DANCE I NEEDED PRACTICE ON!

Oh well, at least it wasn't the night of the recital.

I just hope I don't do that on the night of the recital.. OHSHIT THAT'D BE BAD.

I won't give up on us.

I have a random headache. 

It probably means I should go to sleep now, but you know me. 

I won't do that.

So my Facebook is just sitting on Joe's wall, while I try to think of a truth for him.

I have to think of something different.

Should I tell him to text me and tell him about the note?







Or is that not a good idea?


Ugh I don't even know... 


I might... I think I will..

I can't say I don't care.

Wow, I can't believe I actually found this. December 11, 2011. 

7 months ago, today, this happened. 

Wow. I.. don't know what to say. 

I wrote him a 5 page note that I never gave him. 

I'm rewriting it and I might give it to him, but I don't know yet. :P

Wow. I'm about to start crying almost. 

If you want to get together, you have toGETher.

HI LOVELIES! 


It hasn't been a week since we got out of school! 


I literally can't wait for this summer. We're going to do our best to make this summer amazing. 


I'm excited. 

Just around the corner there's heartaches.

Hi. So. I was talking to this girl on kik. She knows about Joe.

It was almost two in the morning, and I kiked her. 

Me: *Sends her a picture of Joe (One I put of him on here in school)* Hi, I can't sleep! I just wanted to say that we haven't talked in a while and I have some news for you!(: First... can you believe I was in love with that? I sure can.. *Sent her two things I put on my blog under that picture* Oh, and these :P sorry! *I explained the paragraph things*
Her: Sorry! My ipod was dead al day! Piece of sh*t! LOL but! Aww! And well Joe, you have described him as a jerk so.. I don't know what he would say! Bet maybe be likes you back! But we will never know! That's a risk you can take!(:
Me: He isn't really a jerk, you just have to get the nice out of him. He comes off as a jerk, but honestly, he was so nice to me. I know he definitely doesn't like me, but I just really want to be friends again.
Her: Well babe! Just follow your heart! You'll know what's right! And if you really love him! I'm sure he will too! I mean, you guys are young but you sure have chemistry! From everything you have said to me about him and you! :)
Me: Thank you. Because I could never tell anyone what I just told you. And my friends would think it was ridiculous and that he'd never like me and stuff. *shrugs*
Her: UGH! They're immature! Don't listen to them! They're just jealous because they don't have what you guys have! And i'm always here for ya' babe!(:
Me: Again, thank you. Because I always think of him. I'm nervous.. My friend has a pool party on Sunday for her birthday and he might be going. She invited him. So he probably is. and like, i am not comfortable with myself in a bathing suit. and i'm not comfortable around him. (coz i'm nervous) so that should be.. interesting.
Her: You have nothing to worry about! if I was tought something. is to be happy with the way you are. everyone is beautiful! and what not show them the real way you are. instead of hiding and lying. because sooner or later they're going to see the real you. and you should never be uncomfortable with your body! trust me! its not worth it!(:
Me: Thank you so much! but i have dance team camp from 9-10, regular dance from from 10 to 12, then back to dance team from 12 to 3 tomorrow, then dance team camp from 9-3 on Sunday as well. so i should be asleep! >.< I kept thinking of Joe and I couldn't sleep ;P but good night, and thank you!(:
Her: Aww! you're in love! :)! Haha! Good night then! and no problem!

I fell asleep then. 

Oh, she's going into 10th, i'm going into 8th. 

She is so nice. I trust her more than anyone. Literally. 

I don't think I'm in love with him again, I think.. Its just the memories. I miss them too much.

Dear Joseph, 

I just want it all back, but I know I'll never get it back. 

I want to text you. I want to be your friend. I want to hang out with you. I want to fix things. I want to change things. I want to undo what happened. What I did. I messed up. I screwed it up for myself. It was my fault. I know that. I just really miss you. I always have. I always will.

-Ashley

The tans will eventually fade, but the memories will last forever.

WHOOOOOO ITS SUMMMERRRR! ;D

SO HAPPY AND EXCITTEEDDD!

I'm gonna miss the people in my class though. :P

But still!

SUMMER 2012! <3

I love this picture (:

Ahaha look at Michael&Mark! They're immitating us! (:

True love never dies~

Ugh, I should be studying for finals.

THEY BLOWWWW. 

Literally, I wish that could be me.

Let us die young or let us live forever.

Today's events:

Woke up around nine. Got ready for dance.

Dance started at ten, ended at twelve.

Went home, showered, got ready to go swimming up Helena's uncle Mo's.

Got picked up by Helena. People: Helena, Tessa, Eric, Nicky and me. 

Once we got there, we got in the hot tub. Me and Helena went in the pool after a bit, &we started out on rafts. It was cold, but you got used to it after a while. It was nice. We all ended up in the pool after me and Helena were in there for like ten minutes. We went back in the hot tub and played truth or dare. I got dared to eat a tree (a leaf). I spit it out. I was allowed to though.

We ordered food, and the guy didn't know how to get there..

So we directed him and then we ate. Then we went back in the hot tub. Then Nico came up to Mo's.

Then we went in the hot tub again. 

Then we played truth or dare again. 

Here's where I get detailed (that's what happens when you're a writer, you get very descriptive. I dunno, its easier to write this as I would a story). Brace yourself.
~
I walked out to the front to meet Nico. I was wrapped in my towel, and it looked awkward. But I'd rather that than walk out in just my bathing suit. He stepped out in normal clothes; a t-shirt and gym shorts. 

I asked him "Where's your bathing suit?" He replied "I'm just swimming in this... Whoa, this house is huge!" I laughed at his comment. "You've never been here before? This is my third time!" I looked at him. "Nope! WHOA!" He started running down the stairs towards the pool. "Hey Nico!" Helena yelled from the hot tub. I ran down after him to put my towel on the chair. I stood next to him while he took off his shoes, and we ran to the hot tub. I jumped right in, the water burning my semi-dry skin. 

"Oh! This is hot!" Nico winced, placing a leg in at a time. He sunk down in the hot water and sat next to me. "Hi, Nico." everyone said. "Hey guys!" he smiled at our friends. "So, back to our game." Eric said, looking at each of us. After a bit, it was Eric's turn again. "Ashley, truth or dare?" Everyone's eyes fell on me. "Uhmm, dare." I looked at him. "I dare you to kiss.. Nico." I looked at Nico and then back at Eric, and then back at Nico again. We kissed on the lips, and I looked down, playing with the water. 
~

That's the end of the really detailed part... for now. So, I ended up kissing Nico once, Eric three times, and Nicky once. 

We attempted a fire, but failed.

Here's a short detailed part.

~
We all started to pile into the car. Helena climbed in the passenger seat, and the rest of us found a spot in the back. Tessa climbed over the back seat into the way back, next person in the car was Eric. He sat all the way to the right of the back seat, and then I climbed in next. "Who else is going in the back?" Helena asked us. "I will." Nicky and Nico said at the same time. "Nicky, you can go in back." Nico climbed in the back seat. "Come here Nico, give Nicky room to get in the back." I told Nico, pulling him onto my lap. I held him there for as long as we needed, letting Nicky into the back seat. 

He slid off my lap, into the spot to the left of me. "Can I see your iPod?" Nico asked me, looking at my face. "Sure, let me find it." I started digging for my iPod in my bag. "Found it. Here you go!" I smiled at him. "Thanks!" he smiled at me, unlocking my iPod. He went on a bunch of my apps, asking me random questions about my iPod. 

Nicky was the first to get dropped off, so Nico had to climb into my lap again. I helped him onto me, and held his waist. My head rested lightly against his back and he turned around and looked at me. I tried to avoid eye contact, because I thought it'd be awkward in the position we were in. 

Once it came his turn to get dropped off, he turned to the right even though the door was to the left of him. He looked at me and smiled, saying "Bye guys!" he climbed out of the car, and ran up to his house.
~

End of the detailed part.

Then we went to Tessa's house and watched The Outsiders. 

I just realized, on June 1st, that a year ago that day, I asked out Joe. Gosh.

I'll never let you go.

I had a really good, then BAD, then good day! Hahah(:

Well so school was, yanno... school.

IT WAS OUR LAST FULL DAY OF THE YEAR! I'm both happy and sad about that.

The bad part of my day: THE DOCTORS... o.O

I hate shots, with everything I fucking am.


Then I went to the movies with Helena, Nico, Eric, and Dara. We saw Snow White and the Huntsmen.

It was pretty good.

The order in the seats from left to right was: Dara, Helena, me, Nico, and Eric.

I got up to go to the bathroom and I was the only one going out (the bathroom was right outside of the theater we were in) and I got out of the doors and someone put their hands on my shoulders and jumped and said "Where do you think you're going?!" and I stopped and turned my head around to see it was only Nico and I sorta put my arm around his waist for some reason (coz he kinda did for me) and yeah. Then when I got out of the bathroom he was waiting for me and I asked him "Did you go to the bathroom?" and he was like "No" and I asked "Why'd you come out here then?" and I smiled at him and he was like "I dunno, lets go to the arcade!" so we went over there and we went back into the movie theater.

Then we went over to the shoppes and we were in GameStop and I kept tickling Nico (coz he's really ticklish, its hilarious) and he was hiding from me and its was so cute, hahaha.(:

Then we got to Eric's and we were in his room and we were sitting on his bed and Eric was the only one not on the bed. He was on a chair to the side and Nico wanted to see the computer and Eric had it so he laid on top of me except it was like our bodies were crossed, if you understand that.

I got a ride home from him, and he texted me like 20 minutes ago. 

I was like "oh hey, that awkward moment when he only texts girls if he likes them..." 

*shrugs*

PeaceLoveSummer2012<3 (;

I just never wanted to lose you.

In all seriousness, i really liked him, and i feel like i'm not over him, except i want to be, but i never will be. that's how much i liked him. that one night at the plaza i literally broke down in tears. helena took my phone and texted him for me and we ended up having a conversation. i dont want to be how we are. i want to be friends with him. really bad. honestly, i cant stand not talking to him. i always get nervous around him when i'm with him and i try to act how he does about it- like we're still best friends and nothing got messed up. but that is the complete opposite. and i hate it. i just want it to end, and i want us to be friends. but that will never happen.

Ignore my grammar issues, right now idgaf. 

 

I wish I was strong enough to lift not one, but both of us.

He always has to pop into something like this.

Be the one to guide me, but never hold me down.

I'm sorta just sitting here, trying to strain myself from pressing the like button.

I never should've let you go.

Sorry, I can't argue with that.

They say silence is golden, but perhaps its really silver.

We had our Scavenger Hunt yesterday! It was literally so fun. I really legit had massive amounts of fun. Here are some of my favorite pictures.

 

Joe&Helena. *Oh how I wish that was me* / *That should be me* (Songs that fit. :P)

 Joe is holding Mark and I'm holding Tessa. I really am in love with this picture. Like its unhealthy.

 Me&Mark (:

 Our long prom line(; Left to right: Stephanie, Vanessa, Rachel, Me, Helena, Cori, Aleia, Tessa, and Joe in the background (:

Not the greatest picture of us, but left to right is me, Melon (Nick M), Helena, Michael, and Tessa.

But god, I had an amazing time. There, I realized a lot about who I liked. But I'm not gonna say anything just yet, until I know for sure. 

Lets just say, I'm choosing between three, but leaning towards only choosing between two. :P

 

I don't know why I'm drawn to you. Could you be the other one so we'd equal two?

First, before I start. I. Still. Do. NOT. Have. Feelings. For. Nico. 

We were in Geography and he was dancing with me and a few others. 

He grabbed my hands to play Mercy and he was winning and I didn't want to say Mercy so I just said "Fuck" and I was smirking and he stops and looks at me in the eyes and goes "You okay?" while still holding my hands and I said to him "I didn't say Mercy" and bent his hands back. We both started smiling and he fell to the ground and I let go, grabbing his wrist and helping him up. Then he grabbed my hands again and he goes "Spin in." and I said "What?" because I was confused, obviously.

He had my left hand in his, and he grabbed my waist with his free hand and started raveling me in. My back was against his chest and he spun me out and goes "Lean back" and I leaned back. I thought he was gonna kiss me almost because he looked at me when we were leaning back and he got close to me.

And that was the move that most guys do to kiss girls, when they're older obviously. 

Then he grabbed my hands again and started tangoing with me. 

He is hilarious, I swear. 

He gelled his hair to the side again today, and it looked gorgeous. Hahaha.

He came up to me in Science on Friday and hugged me, out of nowhere. From the back, he hugged my waist. I was putting colored pencils away and he came over and hugged me tight, and then walked away. I was startled.

Again, I don't like him. Now off to write more of my story. (;

'Love fast, have fun, and be a little mischevious.' -Louis Tomlinson

I want to be someone's Louis to their Harry.

You will understand if you watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnX-rwTTL0s

Watch all ten minutes, or don't. I watched all ten minutes. I would rather you did, or you wouldn't exactly understand what I meant. 

That's about it.

I really just love how they are with each other. 

Maybe I fell in love when you woke me up.

Nico figured out that the green notebook that I carry around is my notebook that holds my story... oh god, he got like addicted. He got to chapter 4 or 5.

He walks over right when I open it and he looks at it to read it and it was on Chapter 20, not 1, so I said "Don't read it!" and covered it as much as I could. He goes "What is it?" and takes it out and runs away before I could read it. He sat back at his desk and read it. Chapter four ends in a car crash and it was kinda quiet because people were finishing the Science test and all you hear is Nico in the corner of the room go "CAR CRASH?! WHAT?! this is good!" and the page turning. It wasn't really loud, but it sorta was because of how quiet it was. I have to write more for the sake of Instagrammers/Nico. lol.

 

I'd be lying if I told you losing you is something I can handle.

I don't think I like Mark anymore, but I'm not entirely sure. :P

I WENT TO A NEVERSHOUTNEVER CONCERT LAST NIGHT!

I slept over Helena's last night coz we didn't have school today!

(:

In Geography we were walking out of the classroom and I was walking with Helena and Nico and I was talking to Helena and he was kinda listening and walking with us and he buried his face in my hair.

But before that I looked at him and smiled and our faces were pretty close but I just looked away. That's when he put his face in my hair.

I don't understand that child sometimes. (:

I'll show you a picture of Harry (Styles) and his ex, Felicity Skinner. I'm not just saying that Nico did that because I thought the picture of Harry and Felicity was cute. I don't know why he did it. I can't explain what goes on in his head, but I pinky promise he did. Pinky promises are the shit. They are legit.

We were in Geography, like I said, so I obviously didn't have a hat on. But this is pretty much what he did. He put his nose in my hair, like Harry is doing to Felicity. 

I thought it was cute. Both the picture of Harry and Felicity and what Nico did. I honestly don't know why he did that. 

Now its gonna bother me, and I'm REALLY curious. 

Damn.

I think the picture is much cuter though because it was Harry's 'first love' and they're dating in the picture.

When Nico did it, I was talking at the time, so I didn't stop talking and stare at him like "What the HELL are you doing?!" even thought Helena stared at me like "What the HELL is he doing?!" I ignored it. He knew I knew he did it, obviously. He stuck his head in my hair. His nose touched my neck. I felt that, so I obviously knew he did that.

Its gonna bother me now. 

I don't have feelings for him, he's my best friend. 

But I just have to say he looks really attractive when he gels the front of his hair to the side.

He always asks me if his hair looks good. I think that's so adorable.

We were in Geography on Tuesday and it was towards the end of class and we weren't doing any work at the end of the class because we finished everything, so Nico, Eric, and myself were fooling around in the back of the classroom. 

Obviously, not the way you dirty minded people would think.

Nico was trying to dance and he was doing his scorpion (I find it hilarious that he can do a scorpion but I can't) and Eric was watching us. 'Us' being both me and Nico. I always help him with his scorpions. I pull his leg up, grab his hand and bring it to his foot, and push up on his knee. I have to keep pushing his knee in (the foot that is standing him up) so that his leg is straight. At the END end of class he was doing his scorpion and I stepped in front of him to see it and he dropped his leg and put his arms around my neck and hugged me and said "ASHLEY" while he hugged me. 

I hugged back. 

Again, like I said, I don't have feelings for him, he. is. my. BEST. FRIEND.

I can love you more than this.

Guys today was absolutely amazing. Like no lie.

Here was my day- be prepared for some detail.

School. Dodge ball Friday.<3 Mix n' Match day for Spirit Week.
After school we put our bags at Tessa's house, I got changed, and we walked down to Grande (a pizza place).
People there: a bunch of 6th grade girls, and then a ton of 7th grade boys. Michael, Mark D, Mark L, Nick L, Tim, Joe G, Joe P, Justin, Noah, etc. 
Then they all left. Mark D, Joe, and Michael came back for a reason I do not know. Bathroom I guess? No clue. 
Then on our way to Tessa's house, we stopped at Cal Ideas, a little store. 
The boys there were Mark D, Joe, Michael, Justin, Noah, Joe, and Michael.
We walked in and Steph gave Mark a hug. Then Cass. Then Tess. Then Helena. So I thought to myself "AND A HUG! :D" and he looked at me because I was the last one and I kinda just awkwardly looked at him and he goes "Sorry, Ash." and smiled and hugged me. When I hugged him/pulled away I was smirking at Helena like a total loser. Haha. 
That literally made my life better. Not just my night. My entire life. 
Then we went to Helena's house and just had a really good time. Girl's night, finally. 

I don't really know how to describe it, but I really like Mark. Like REALLY like him. And I get upset sometimes because I don't think he likes me.

But right now, I'm putting that aside and just thinking this: 

I got a hug from a boy I really like without the same disaster happening that happened with Joe. 

That makes me so happy, literally. Because I have wanted to just walk up to Mark and hug him, and that's pretty much what I did. 

My face felt kinda hot when I hugged him, so I'm assuming I was blushing. ^^

I just really like him. A lot. 

<3

"I'm searching for breath, I'm searching for relief, its so hard to find my way when I love you beyond belief." -Zayn Malik

I accidentally fell asleep tonight when I got home. 

I always have really good dreams when that happens... 

I'll tell you mine :3

We were on this field trip and we were assigned a group but we didn't have to stay with those people all day.
I was with three other guys that I didn't talk to or like, for that matter. 
All of a sudden, I got separated from them. I walked to find at least one of my friends, and Nico was alone too.
He walked up to me and said "Why are you alone?" 
I looked at him, "I could ask you the same." 
"Who were you with this morning?" He asked.
I told him who and then said, "But they all ditched me.." 
He looked at me, concerned. "You can stay with me." He said, looking at me and smiling.
He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. 
We went on bunches of rides and towards then end of the day, we decided to go on the Ferris wheel. 
We got to the top, and he kissed me. 

Before I could react, my dad flippin' woke me up.

Damn. 

 

I'm only here coz you stole my heart.

I still have Algebra to do but I'm too lazy to do it.

*Rebel*

Loljk.

I'm such a loser.

Best candy in the world at the moment--BOTTLE CAPS.

They're freaking delicious. 

Tomorrow is Generation Day for Spirit week and guess who is going as a Greaser.. *raises hand* THIS CHICK.

I'm gonna cry.. I'm so sad.

School is almost over.

My class is amazing and I will miss the people badly. ):

I love my class and the people in it.

I don't love school, just how I get to be with the people that I am every day.

):

Damn.

I can't wait for summer, don't get me wrong.. but I'm gonna be sad the last day of school..

But then we're having a party (most likely) towards the end of the year so FUCK YEAH.

But still. ):

Get on with life, because life gets on without you. -Zayn Malik

Mhkays, so I was hanging things in the hallway for school and I was hanging the stuff on the walls up high and I was directly in front of the Algebra door on the chair.

Guess who comes to the window to 'throw something away'.

Joe.

I accidentally made eye contact. I really tried not to, but he looked right at me.

Damn.

Mark was in my classroom in Science.

7th period, last class of the day.

He has Science 4th period and he had to finish taking the Science test. 

He walked in the classroom and I looked up to see who walked in and there he wass.

He looked right at me too. ^^

Me&Helena are trying out for the X Factor, and I'm being 100000000023493047% legit. So you can be a fucktard about it if you want, but you will be hit. :3

"Live for who and what you love." -Zayn Malik

Snooki and Mike The Situation (:

Today was Movie Character/Celebrity Day for Spirit Week!

I was Zayn Malik <3

We all know that the picture is mostly for the lovely photo-bomber in the background, the douche bag, Joseph. (:

Everyone asked me who I was, it was funny.

Nico looked hilarious. 

In Geography he was 'checking himself out' in the sunglasses and he turns to me and goes "I've got to stop this..." and put the sunglasses on.

It was actually a really fun day.

Tomorrow is Jersey Day, so I have to find my football jersey. :P

 

I do the best that I can, and I hope you understand.

This is what I want to say, but I'm not going to at all.

Tell me why I'm still in love with you.

I THINK THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFETIME. OMG. NICO. GET IT IN. 

LOLWUT


This is so cute! I literally just cried. That is so cute, but I'm still wondering when he asked her out. Sweet heart, I made the mistake of loving him too.


BE CAREFUL. 


You aren't gonna be together forever, no matter what he says.
He told me he was glad we were dating and I said to him "the only thing that i'm not looking forward to is when we break up. ):" and he said "the only way that is gonna happen is if i die" well, we broke up. 


I'm just warning you without actually telling you this. 


I think its cute, I really do. But we've all seen it.


Tessa, Amber, Rachel, Brenda, and I went to Burger King last night and Tessa goes "... We've all dated Nico..." and we were like "OH this is awkward" haha.


We've all seen it, and you're just another girl who is falling in his trap, head over heels.




Good luck to you, Ariana, is all I can say. 


Sincerely, Nico's ex-girlfriends. 

If I lay here would you lay with me and just forget the world?

This was honestly the best night. I had the best time. Tyler is in the grey, Nicky is the tall one in the back, Mark is the short one in front of him. I'm the taller one on the right an Kate is the one in front of me. Helena is in the front.

 

This was Thursday when I had to go to my band concert. I could have gone to the carnival with Mark and them. Tessa is the only girl there, Nico is in the red, Mark in the grey.

This was also a really good day. Nicky is in the grey, Mark L is in the orange, Tyler- blonde hair, black jacket. Mark D- White sweatshirt. Nico-Navy sweatshirt. Danny- blonde hair, in the back. Tessa- purple shirt. Helena- hugging her. Me- Navy on the end. Her cousin Billy is the other kid.

 This was the same day as the picture above. The guys all danced shirtless to Sexy And I Know It. It was hilarious. Mark L Has the grey shirt on his head, Mark D has the blue shirt on his head, Nico has the belt on his hear, Danny is near Helena, Helena is on the end. Tyler is above Nico, jumping on him, and Nicky is the tall one in the back. 

These were really good days, except for Thursday. I missed out on that. I could have spent a night with Mark, and I'm really upset that I didn't get to.

We're never with the boys anymore and 'the boys' would be Nico and Mark and like, I dunno.. 

I haven't hung out with Nico in forever, nor Mark.

I'm really upset about not hanging out with Mark because ever since that one Friday when me, Kate, Aleia, Tessa, Nico, Mark, and Danny went to Nico's house, we haven't hung out with them. Of course, that's because Helena was in New York. 

I'm being eaten alive out on the porch, its so annoying. I wanna go inside but its so nice out!

You're only as tall as your heart will let you be, and you're only as small as the world will make you seem.

So its like 9:30 PM and I'm sitting on my porch alone. 

On a Saturday night. 

While all of my friends are out with people, having a grand old time. 

I don't know about the guys, but if I asked them to hang out they might think its weird if I was the only girl, but I really don't care. I haven't hung out with any of the guys in a while. 

Its 64 degrees out but its still nice out here. <3

I really have nothing to say except go look at this link:

http://makeawishfor2012.tumblr.com/


peace. :3

God put us here on this carnival ride. We close our eyes, never knowing where it'll take us next.

I completely forgot to tell you what mine and Mark's conversation on May 2nd was.

LOLOOPS

A: Hi!
M: Hey
A: Whats up
M: Nothin coming home from track
M: You?
A: Baking for the bake sale tomorrow. Haha how was track?
M: Good we didnt run much today
A: Oh is that good or bad?
M: Its good
A: Oh alright, thats what I thought
M: Haha ok
A: Okay(: I'm going to a baseball game with Helena soon, are they boring? :P
M: Ah there ok whos game?
A: I don't really know :P she just asked if i wanted to go to a game.
M: Oh
A: Yep :P
M: Yess
A: Scratch that, the game is cancelled :P
M: Sorry I didnt text you back and that sucks
A: Its alright and not really coz we're going to the carnival
M: Oh well thats good
A: Yep I guess
M: 
M: Sorry I meant ya
A: Oh ok
M: Ya
A: But i gotta go, i'll text you later if you want.
M: Ok bye

That's about it. ):

Love goes out like a light, out like a flame, and you can't find it anymore.

People don't know what kind of music I really like. 

I don't care what they think. Its my music.

Helena ditched me and Tessa again tonight- SHOCKER.

We went to the carnival tonight again, but it was much more fun. 

Joe was there. He was with Michael and Tyler and a bunch of other guys from our grade but not Mark D. ):

I was hoping to see him tonight. I want to see him.

I want to hug him.

I want him to be mine.

Idgaf what anyone says.

I really like him. 

I REALLY REALLY like him.

A lot. 

I'm not sure he feels the same way though.

He definitely doesn't.

If he did he would actually talk to me.

Does he? 

No. 

I really miss him.

I wanna talk to him. Bad. But its almost 11 PM. Damn, I'm not tired. I was up until 1 AM yesterday.

Eric won Tessa a fish and The Coon (Nick P) won someone else one but gave it to Eric.

Eric named his Tessa, Tessa named hers Eric. 

Eric is moving to Chicago soon. </3

I'll be honest, I'm gonna miss him.

He's one of my best friends and me and Tessa agreed that we all have to Oovoo.

I don't want to lose him, technically speaking.

I don't like him like that, but its just that he is so funny and nice and I'm gonna miss him. Simple as that.

I really wish Mark liked me. I know he wont but we can always hope. 

 

Don't you ever give up on us, my dear.

Today was actually pretty good.

I'll admit, I enjoyed it.

Here's my day, literally:

Dodgeball in gym class! Marisa got accidentally sat on by Michael. She bent down to get a ball and he jumped over her and while he was above her she stood up. It was hilarious.
Reading class we had a substitute and we did work in a book. BORING SHIT.
Got out of English class to help the band teacher with the 5th&6th grade band!
Lunch I worked the bake sale with a few other people. Towards the end of lunch, all the guys were coming out for no reason. They stood around the table asking for money to get stuff. I gave Nico money for one of the brownies (he loves my mint brownies ^^) and I almost did the same for Mark D. Hehe. So the guys that came out were Nico, Mark D, Joe, Michael, Tyler, Nick M, and Shawn (Toxic). They were pretending to take stuff.. they were like "I'll take this.." and slowly dragged it away. It was really funny. I have more about it farther down, just keep reading.
Homeroom: Alfonzo died during surgery, so we had a short funeral for him. (Alfonzo is something Nico drew on my whiteboard a while ago. He had to undergo surgery because people 'cut' him. ): ) 
Social Studies: Took notes, boring, blah.
Algebra: Test. :P
Geography&Science: I got out of also to help the band teacher with the 4th graders. THAT WAS HELL.
Came home: Accidentally fell asleep for three hours. Woke up before my band concert.
Band concert: We played 3 songs. Fuck that.
Rita's: Yum.
Home: Hi, I'm up to date. I am now writing this post for the people that aren't here.

Hello(;

LOLWUT

Anyway, when all the guys came out at lunch I looked up and guess who was staring at me...

Joseph Charles Fucking (last name here)


Then I awkwardly looked away and I looked at Mark and he smiled at me. (:


I didn't have time to text him today with all... THAT... going on. ):

Its roasting in my room and my fan is broken. Damn it.

OH so I was just going down my Facebook thingy and I saw a post from that girl that is in love with Nico (Ariana) and I was like "AWH THIS IS SO ADORABLE" because its this long post and at one point she goes "I'll tell you about (insert her words here, i forget what she said) when you phone me later. I sound like a loser saying that..." and a bunch of other stuff. I was like "IF SHE MEANS THEY'RE GONNA LITERALLY TALK ON THE PHONE THAT'S ADORABLE" 

Haha. 

No school tomorrowww. 

NEXT WEEK IS SPIRIT WEEK.

I get distracted easily, I apologize...

Peace :3

You can rough me up, you can break me down, baby don't stop now.

Haha, look at Aleia.

LOL WE ALL KNOW THE PICTURE ISN'T HERE FOR ALEIA.

Its for him.

I spent the night with Helena, Nicky, Aleia, Stephanie, Cassidy, Noah, and Joe.

Weirdest night in the world.

It was at the carnival.

I didn't realize how much I REALLY missed him until tonight.

I missed his voice, and just everything else about him.

This really pretty girl is in love with Nico and he likes her back! (:
 
They're hanging out Friday and I think he's gonna ask her out then!

Her Facebook status was "Why can't Friday come any sooner? <3"
 
I was like "Awh you better not be a bitch to him."

He hasn't met her in person before but they've been texting for a while now. 

I really miss Joe.

I was texting Mark tonight. I'll put the conversation up another time. I'm too depressed to do it tonight.
 

There's something about the way you look tonight that takes my breath away.

I was planning on texting Mark tonight but I forgot.

):

Nico asked for another piece of gum.

He broke my pencil on accident because he took it and told me he'd give it back if I gave him a piece of gum.

Then he took my pencil case and I tried to grab it from behind him so I was awkwardly hugging him sorta and Tyler, Mark L, Michael, etc. were all like "OOH YOU GUYS" and we were like "SHUT THE FUCK UP" but we didn't yell it because the teacher would kill us. It was hilarious. 

The way you treat me cruel, oh it just adds fuel to the fire.

So today, like always, Nico asked for a piece of gum. 


I wasn't planning on giving him one, because he took six from me on Friday. -_-

Gaahh, if I say this it'll sound weird, but I've said more awkward things than this.

I wasn't gonna give him one but then he looked at me and... started playing with my hair. and then.. I dunno..

I just can't say much more without saying too much, if you know what I mean. 

So I gave him a piece.. 

Then in Social Studies he was not paying attention like almost all of the class and at one point he stood behind my desk (which is the last desk in my row) and crouched down so if I turned around either way I wouldn't be able to see him.

Then he started to move up and I looked around again because he was sniffing my hair (?) and then I turned around a bit too far and our faces were closer than I thought they'd be and he didn't move. 

Then in the end of Algebra I was waiting for Julia so we could walk to Geography together (because I walk really awkwardly alone in the hallway, its weird) and Nico was getting his books and I was standing there and he did this weird thing to me and I really don't know how to describe it. He like.. rolled his body? Against my back.

LOLWUT

It was while I was talking to Michael about how he cut his nose...?

He was standing up and he goes "OW I cut my nose" and I looked at him and he was looking at me and I was like "Oh? How'd you do that?" and he explained something with his notebook and I was like "That's unfortunate." and that's when Nico did that roll thing on me and Michael goes "What was THAT?!" and he raised his eyebrows and I was kinda just standing there like nothing happened (because I'm used to Nico by now, haha) and I looked at Nico and he was like "I went like..." and showed him on my side and I just stood there thinking to myself 'Uh huh, that's right, be jealous. (;' 

LLN WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME.

(LLN= Laughing Like Niall (; )

I'm having a good day.

Like a really good day. 

I have dance tonight, and I'm not gonna give a fuck what people think of me.

FUCK YEAH. :3

I got my outfit in NYC too!
 
It was when we went for the dance convention.

I have skinny yoga pants from Strawberry and a sports bra & a quarter sleeve crop top- both from Forever 21.

I had the greatest time in New York.

Even though it was only two days. ):

Mhkay, I wanna text Mark. 

He has his track meet now though. It started at four, and its 4:40 now.

Blah.

Maybe after dance I will.

Which would be like 6:45.

But I don't wanna awkwardly text him... we haven't talked since Tuesday.

Its Monday night.


OHEMGEE I NEED MY PHONE. It is predicted to come on May 2. WHICH IS WEDNESDAY.




Ewh who says predicted? -_-