Just around the corner there's heartaches.

Hi. So. I was talking to this girl on kik. She knows about Joe.

It was almost two in the morning, and I kiked her. 

Me: *Sends her a picture of Joe (One I put of him on here in school)* Hi, I can't sleep! I just wanted to say that we haven't talked in a while and I have some news for you!(: First... can you believe I was in love with that? I sure can.. *Sent her two things I put on my blog under that picture* Oh, and these :P sorry! *I explained the paragraph things*
Her: Sorry! My ipod was dead al day! Piece of sh*t! LOL but! Aww! And well Joe, you have described him as a jerk so.. I don't know what he would say! Bet maybe be likes you back! But we will never know! That's a risk you can take!(:
Me: He isn't really a jerk, you just have to get the nice out of him. He comes off as a jerk, but honestly, he was so nice to me. I know he definitely doesn't like me, but I just really want to be friends again.
Her: Well babe! Just follow your heart! You'll know what's right! And if you really love him! I'm sure he will too! I mean, you guys are young but you sure have chemistry! From everything you have said to me about him and you! :)
Me: Thank you. Because I could never tell anyone what I just told you. And my friends would think it was ridiculous and that he'd never like me and stuff. *shrugs*
Her: UGH! They're immature! Don't listen to them! They're just jealous because they don't have what you guys have! And i'm always here for ya' babe!(:
Me: Again, thank you. Because I always think of him. I'm nervous.. My friend has a pool party on Sunday for her birthday and he might be going. She invited him. So he probably is. and like, i am not comfortable with myself in a bathing suit. and i'm not comfortable around him. (coz i'm nervous) so that should be.. interesting.
Her: You have nothing to worry about! if I was tought something. is to be happy with the way you are. everyone is beautiful! and what not show them the real way you are. instead of hiding and lying. because sooner or later they're going to see the real you. and you should never be uncomfortable with your body! trust me! its not worth it!(:
Me: Thank you so much! but i have dance team camp from 9-10, regular dance from from 10 to 12, then back to dance team from 12 to 3 tomorrow, then dance team camp from 9-3 on Sunday as well. so i should be asleep! >.< I kept thinking of Joe and I couldn't sleep ;P but good night, and thank you!(:
Her: Aww! you're in love! :)! Haha! Good night then! and no problem!

I fell asleep then. 

Oh, she's going into 10th, i'm going into 8th. 

She is so nice. I trust her more than anyone. Literally. 

I don't think I'm in love with him again, I think.. Its just the memories. I miss them too much.

Dear Joseph, 

I just want it all back, but I know I'll never get it back. 

I want to text you. I want to be your friend. I want to hang out with you. I want to fix things. I want to change things. I want to undo what happened. What I did. I messed up. I screwed it up for myself. It was my fault. I know that. I just really miss you. I always have. I always will.

-Ashley